I blame myself. Entirely.
What happened was, someone I follow emailed me her latest article. I opened it and began reading. The article interested me so I clicked on the link to keep reading. That took me to the magazine where her column runs.
I HATE that magazine. It’s like Dr. Strangelove in 2014…Team America without the humor… G. I. Joe on crack…the most bombastic Neo-Con puke imaginable. If it was possible to blow up the whole world save Israel and possibly England, they’d push for it.
As far as I know, this woman is the only interesting writer they publish. Everyone else just parrots the party line. Anyway, as soon as I clicked on the link, I crashed headfirst into the magazine’s owner. He was in the upper right corner, smirking down on me like a shameless moron.
Argghhh!!! I HATE him!
That day he was writing on a topic that would have interested me coming from anyone else. Him? No way. He was as predictable as junk mail.
So naturally I…clicked his article. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Although I only had it open for a few seconds — a quick glance — the damage was total.
His article was even worse than I predicted. I did a quick mental calculation: There were 1,008 BETTER things I could have done with my time. I had said “No” to all of them. All of those things would have made me a better person. Now, I was a seething monster. I fantasized about throwing myself into the comments section and punching out all his fans!
I made a cup of coffee. I could feel my eye twitching. My jaw clenched.
Is this what success feels like? For him?
Because he won. I clicked his article and ended up flat on my back, like Charlie Brown trying to kick Lucy’s football.
I imagine this guy laughing as he types, rubbing his hands with glee, like a cartoon villain who’s just tied the superhero’s girlfriend to the tracks. He sets the trap, sits back and waits for a hapless fool like me to wander by…and then…BAM!
I assume he’s a paid shill for AIPAC or the Defense Industry. If it’s true, he’s a little less loathsome in my eyes. I get why people do things for money.
But if he’s not a lackey…not a cartoon villain using clickbait headlines to torture readers who lack minimal willpower?
Because that means he believes what he writes. And so do thousands of his fans.
Worse, there are people who think he’s open to correction. They voluntarily read his columns and then try to reason with him. Not through private email of course, but the comments section. From there, his followers do the dirty work. They pummel the heretic until he leaves the forum, bloody and battered.
As Larry David put it: “How could people live like this?”
Then there are the people who read his column purposely to GET wound up. Sounds crazy I know, but they ENJOY screaming, cussing and raging. It’s a momentary high, even if they don’t leave an actual comment. I pity their wives but then again, a lot of them are single.
So the other day when this guy’s website came up in my search results, I backed away from the computer. I stood up straight, planting my feet. I took a deep breath — a trick I learned from Bruce Banner — and pressed my internal “ignore” button.
Victory! Sweet victory.
Besides, I had to go. Newsmax needed me to cast the deciding vote on Can Hillary Be Stopped?